Life can sure throw curve balls. The women I loved since I was 14. My high school sweetheart, the women I have been married to since 2002, the women I created 2 beautiful children with, will no longer be my wife as we have made the painful decision to divorce. Denial is what I am going through right now, but slowly all the good memories are starting to hit me like a ton a bricks. Shit that I have forgotten about is making its way to the surface. There was no infidelity on either of our parts but an acceptance that their are irreconcilable differences that we have tried many times to fix. We are trying to be civil through this to make it as easy as possible, considering, for the kids.
Besides that, life is pretty good. Harsh at times, but I am still breathing and am able to enjoy the here and now. As far as faith goes, its not there and I am quite certain it never was. The desire was legit, but I never was truly there. Belief in a God? In that sense, I would consider myself a hopeful (or rather wishful) agnostic. I have accepted that for many months now and for the first time in my entire adult life, I am fine and comfortable in my own skin. Its comforting to think of a God out there and up there, it would be nice if that were the case, but I do not believe it.
Blogging is a good tool to get things off my chest, so I will continue to do so even if I am the only viewer of my words. Its therapeutic. As you can imagine, lots of thoughts running through my head so sorry If I am all over the place.
Talk to you soon.